


"I don't know!"

by SaeranLover



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Burns, Gen, It's sad ;o;, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:56:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaeranLover/pseuds/SaeranLover
Summary: Saeran wanted to be free from his overprotective brother, yet memories of the past are enough for him to need his brother more than anything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Somebody asked for me to write a sad and tearful short fic about Saeran on tumblr...  
> ;o;  
> [Here it is on there, by the way...](https://saeranlover.tumblr.com/post/156409926178/here-you-go-a-short-sad-fic-to-do-with)

He hated it. He hated it all. The attachment, the worrying, the pain.

Why did Saeyoung have to get involved in his life once more? Why did he choose _her_ to lure the RFA into Magenta?

If neither of those two were in his life, then _maybe_ he wouldn’t have felt so angry or scared.

At least he was allowed to lock himself up in his room without the two of them coming in… He could _hurt them_ in here, and he couldn’t be blamed – they would have been the ones invading his privacy, after all.

There were only a few belongings in the room, mainly because of the fear which Saeyoung had of him harming himself. His bed took up about a quarter of the space, and it had upon it some very soft blankets, a big pillow, and a mattress (without springs, of course). He was far too used to the somewhat old, rough feeling bed of Mint Eye. On top of that, there were a few somewhat large bags holding his clothes which still bore their price tags. The clothes were _all_ of Saeyoung’s choosing, and he was quickly running out of his older clothes to wear without daring to give them to _her_ every time that she offered to wash them. He was going to have to actually wear those new ones soon…

Besides that, there was a bare desk with only his nail scratches and his wrist-wraps resting upon them. Saeyoung had sneakily hidden his choker away somewhere quite literally because of the name. He didn’t want him to try and choke himself with it by putting it on too tight.

The only thing that he _liked_ about the room was the window which seemed to have been newly introduced to the room. Of course, it was locked with a key held only by Saeyoung, and the glass was made so that it couldn’t be smashed (he had tried time and time again.)

“I don’t want to be here anymore…” Saeran had woke up one morning feeling more down than usual, following a horrible dream which he had about the abuse his mother had put him through following Saeyoung’s disappearance. Being trapped in this building unless Saeyoung went with him reminded him of those days. He knew that his brother had good intentions, but… He didn’t want to remain trapped for any more of his life.

A knock on his door made him tense up.

“Saeran… I’ve got some food for you to eat… Can you let me in?” _Her voice annoyed him, and reminded him of a false hope which he once held... Why couldn’t she just LEAVE HIM ALONE?!_ “Please, Saeyoung isn’t here… I made sure that he was out of the house, so you can come out of your room, you know…”

He clenched his fists, and slammed them down onto the bed. “I’m not leaving!” He hoped that his shouts had been enough to scare her away.

“Then… Could I come in? I’ll stay at the opposite side of the room whilst you eat, if you want…”

He ran his hands through his hair for a moment, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t even look her in the eye after what had happened. Her kindness reminded him of Rika, but she also reminded him of how Rika turned bitter and cruel with her actions. He didn’t want to let anyone be kind to him, because it would just happen _over and over_ …

Yet he still stood up, and threw the door open. She flinched, yet still offered a bowl of whatever… _that_ was. It looked like a thick, gloopy… liquid. And it was an odd orangey-red colour too…

“What the fuck is that?!”

“It’s a creamy tomato soup… I always ate it as a child when I was feeling down or unwell, because it has a bit of a light sweetness to it… And I thought that maybe you would want to try it…” He continued to stare at the bowl for a moment, before snatching it out of her hand, making quite a bit of it splash onto the floor and onto her bare feet and legs. She hissed, and he could see her trying to hold back from crying because of the burning feeling. He then realised that the bowl was horribly hot too.

Once he had hastily threw the bowl of soup onto his desk to relieve his hands from the heat, he turned back to face her. He then realised that she was now shaking as she did her best to use her hands to wipe the burning hot soup off her legs. Her face was pale and tears were staining her cheeks. _Fuck._ “S- Saeran, I- I-… I’m just going to c- clean myself up… A- And get a bit of ice…” He noticed the bright red burns across her skin then, and he felt his breath catch until the moment she had left his line of sight.

Pain from the past was starting to resurface at the sight of that… And the memories were vivid as they replayed before him. His mother’s angry face… The kettle filled with boiling water in her hand… The ropes chafing against his ankle… “N- No… I- I don’t know where he is… I don’t know where Saeyoung is!” He found himself copying what he had said back then... Then the yelling, the sobbing… the burns covering his torso and legs making his skin tighten and giving him no choice but to cry out in pain… “I- I don’t know!”

Saeran ended up falling into the desk trying to control his breathing, and he noticed even more of the soup spilling all around. Some splashed onto his arm, and his breathing turned into wheezing. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want this, he _didn’t_ want this!

After that, Saeran staggered over to the adjoining bathroom, and went straight over to the sink to run some cold water. His arm went straight into it, and though he was able to get some temporary relief, the pain was quick to return. His skin was now crawling where he was previously burned, so he practically ripped his shirt off so that he could look at the white scars from where the water had burned him in the past in order to scratch at them to get them to stop.

His breathing was still horrible and unsteady when he returned to his room, but his crying was enough to give him a headache which made him feel dizzy. He fell into his bed, and his screaming over the memories and the pain began to turn louder and more laced with pain. At least the softness of the bed was a temporary comfort…

“Stop it… Stop it… Stop it!” He screeched, his throat now feeling sore and dry. The scratches at the scars had been enough to pierce his skin, and small beads of blood were forming on his skin. He ended up moving to the floor, so that he had something hard to slam his fists against. “It hurts! I- I don’t know!”

He still kept having visions of his mother pouring that steaming water over him, and was still reacting towards it.

By that point, _she_ had returned to the room and was stood in the doorway as Saeran was having a breakdown. Her eyes went to the red mark on his arm, before they then shot over to the bowl which was almost bare of soup due to its contents now surrounding it on the desk.

“Saeran-?!”

“I _don’t_ know! I- I don’t know, p- please don’t p- pour it on me-!” She realised by the partially glazed over look in his eyes that he was obviously having a panic attack based on an experience from the past.

Then the nearby door opened, and she breathed a sigh of relief as Saeyoung entered the building. Quickly, she explained the situation to Saeyoung, before he ran over to the doorway to witness Saeran sobbing wildly as his hands raked through his hair.

“I s- said that I don’t know! I don’t, I don’t!” He let off a wrecked cry then, shaking his head frantically. “M- Mommy, I d- don’t know where Saeyoung is! D- Don’t burn me!”

Saeyoung stared at her with wide eyes, before running into the room and kneeling down beside his twin, and gently placing his arms around him in a calming embrace.

“Saeran… It’s Saeyoung. I’m right here… Our mother isn’t, but I am… Don’t worry about her, she isn’t going to hurt you…” He whispered, burying his face into Saeran’s hair as his crying calmed down slightly. “I’m here… I’m here… You know where I am now… I’m here, Saeran. I promise you, I’m here, and I’m not leaving again…” Saeyoung felt relieved seeing his twin’s breathing slow down, and hearing the sobs quieten.

“S- Saeyoung… I- I need you… I- I don’t want to leave, and- and I don’t want you to leave me…”

Saeyoung didn’t know if Saeran’s mind was still trapped in the past or now returned to the present, but still replied to him. “You don’t need to leave… And I won’t leave again. I promise…”


End file.
